PAIN

I was reading the other day about Female Genital Mutilation. I was interested in it because I was listening to s story of the Kenyan runners....they are the best in the world and some have tried to study to explain why this specific tribe in Kenya are great athletes. They studied the 1968 Olympic winner--Kipchoge Keino, who had a gall bladder attack, but still went on to win the gold. Despite all the a pain he was in, he kept running as fast as he could. While listening to the study, they said that this particular tribe practices circumcision as a rite of passage, so to speak, on the boys and girls. So this female circumcision intrigued me and read about this gruesome procedure that leaves many women physically, psychologically, and emotionally in pain for the rest of their days. But yet, despite this many of the men become amazing athletes.

It was interesting that I was reading this and listening to this study at this time because we have been fasting as is our custom the first 21 days of the new year. And in my fasting, I really want God to change me, to move me from my present situation so that I can fulfill my purpose. So, I came across Amos 6. And at first it didn't mean anything to me until I read the Message translation of verse 3-6,

Woe to those addicted to feeling good—life without pain!
    those obsessed with looking good—life without wrinkles!
They could not care less
    about their country going to ruin."

I took a pause because, that hit me. I'm addicted to feeling good--I HATE PAIN, especially emotional pain. When I'm getting emotional I suck it up and stop. When I'm feeling mental anquish, I do everything to escape it. I don't want pain. Mainly because of my past, but also because pain is stressful. It just is and I don't like it. Who does, but this scripture stuck with me. Then in leadership meeting today, God dug a little deeper.

Some years ago, acutally a lot of years ago, I began to pray before going to church, that I didn't want to feel any pain. I didn't realize what I was praying for. Basically, I was saying to God, let the preacher preach something nice and encouraging, but don't let him preach anything that was going to cause me mental anquish and stress. And I would pray that often because sometimes the Pastor could preach harshly against the sin or negative behaviors and it could rub me the wrong way. But, in leadership meeting today, I've learned that me praying that was VERY wrong. In essence I was telling God that since I don't like pain, I don't want to be corrected because correction or discipline doesn't feel good. I wanted to go to church and feel good, not pain.

BUT

If I'm not corrected I am a BASTARD. I DID NOT KNOW that the biblical correction and discipline is painful, but NECESSARY! God, forgive me, please!! I didn't know!!

Father, in the name of Jesus, don't allow my ignorance to destroy me.

Thank you for the light being turned on. I ACCEPT all the correction and discipline I NEED becaues I HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD in your grace and purpose!! I HAVE TO!!

So, I welcome the pain of correction. I welcome the pain of discipline. I welcome it with open arms.

It's interesting because I would wonder why my leaders would not correct me. Now I know why. I didn't want them to. I mean I did in my head, but my posture (my praying to God) wouldn't allow them to. So, I humble myself and submit myself as a son and allow myself to be disciplined so that I could move forward, in Jesus's name. Amen!!