HIV & Zombies

CB came to spend the night on Saturday. I have not had sex. I haven't been in the mood. One reason is because I don't want to sin and another reason is because I went through his phone and I saw that he's been texting and dating other women so I'm not interested anymore.

While I was tossing and turning in my bed I had a dream that he tested positive for HIV.

WHAT????

I hope this isn't real!!

I can't remember much of the dream, but I woke up praying for him.

Then on Sunday night I had a dream about zombies.

WOW!!!

What is going on?????

Anyway, today is Christmas and even though CB is here right now I still feel alone. I mean I had plans to spend the entire day with him. WHY did I have those plans? We HAVE NEVER SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY TOGETHER. But I bought cute Christmas PJs for us to wear and I bought stockings that I hung over the fire place. My fantasy was that we'd have a wonderful Christmas day.

Well, my bubble has burst. He didn't get here until around 2pm then he left around 4. And he just got back. WOW, I can't believe that I spend $40 on Christmas PJs. They will be returned tomorrow.

I'm in a funk about it, but at least he helped me with my office.